I Am Back!

Happy Halloween !

This picture is too cute!  It makes me laugh!  Maybe cause I'll be there sooner than I'd like to!


This is also the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

I know - just cause I had breast cancer doesn't mean I have to buy pizza in a pink box! It just came that way! I suppose all the pinkness around this month means people and businesses are becoming more aware of breast cancer and raising more funds to help find a cure. That's a good thing!

Well it has been just over a year since I wrote on my blog. There's way too much to catch up on in just one blog post, but I will give a bit of a health update. My last checkup with my oncologist was in August and at that time my blood work looked good!

Just to remind you, its been 2 1/2 + years since my mastectomy and over 2 years since I finished my chemo treatments. Most of the time I feel good!  (All of the time God is good!) There are some things that are side effects of my medication, but I'll talk about that another time.

I don't know what the future will hold, but I've moved on with my life. The diagnosis and active treatment part of my life is over. Many times I don't even think about it. I don't mind reading articles about possible new treatments and cures, but I don't want to be on community forums too often.

I do want to give glory to God for helping me always and giving me hope. He is my strength and has been my strength, especially these last almost 3 years since my cancer saga began.

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble. 

Psalm 46:1

If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam

When I fall, I will get up again!

Its been a beautiful week in Rocklin, Ca.  90 degree weather in October! What's been going on in my life for the last six months? Lets see . . .

I got a job.  Josh graduated from high school.  Zach went to a college in Sunnyvale. Scott got a new job.  I broke my shoulder...yikes!

Ok, let me back up to April/May.  After having good news at my last doctor's visit, I decided it might be time to look for a job.  I wanted something close by, nothing too stressful or demanding, and someplace fun or enjoyable to work. In essence, going to work was a way of moving on to the next chapter in my life. My cancer phase is over!  My life after cancer has begun!  I felt good and wanted to validate that I could face the real world again.   I am healthy, happy, and whole.  I got a job at a small department store 5 minutes from home.

Josh's Graduation 2014
Whitney High, Rocklin

Band Practice

First day of college
(Yes, I still take pictures!)
Sierra College

My baby boy graduated from Whitney High! Josh was a mere 4 years old when we moved to Rocklin.  He has had the pleasure of living in the same house and having many of the same friends throughout his school years.  Currently he is going to Sierra College, the local junior college, and wants to transfer to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo with an engineering major.  He played the drums in marching band all 4 years of high school and graduated with over a 4.0 grade point average. He ranked 18th in his class which is in the top 5% of his class. He loves science and math.  I expect he will do well.

Zach and I before driving to Sunnyvale

Zach at his new college

After going to San Jose State University last fall, Zach had to reevaluate his college plans.  SJSU was not a good fit for him.
Its so big, 30,000 students.  He felt like he couldn't get good academic counseling and the college really didn't have the major he wanted. (He knew what he wants to do, just not how to get there.)  It was while he was attending San Jose State that he heard of another college in that area that specializes in Video Game Design and Illustration/Animation. After taking the spring semester off this year, he started at Cogswell Polytechnical College in Sunnyvale in June. He is now taking his second semester there and has a plan to complete his degree.

Scott took a new job in July which puts him back on the road.  As with many things in life, this job has its good and bad points.  I pray the good outweighs the bad!

And finally, August 30th, I broke my shoulder! Can you believe it?
I hardly could! I'd never broken a bone in my body before. Remember that job I told you about? Well, I was working and we were removing shelving from the wall.  Two very thin wire shelves were stacked on each other on the floor.  I stepped on them and the top one slid out from the bottom one and I went down...hard!
I tried to catch myself with my hands/arms, but landed on my left side and rolled to my back.  As my coworkers gathered round me comforting me and trying to figure out what to do, I lie on my back holding my left arm across my abdomen with my right hand.  I knew I couldn't move it.

Zach had taken the train home the day before to spend the week at home between his summer and fall semesters. That very morning before my accident, he and I went out and got new phones. I even took a selfie at the store and one of Zach too!

I had my phone in my front left pocket. One of the first things I thought was, "Oh I hope I didn't break my phone." Well, I didn't and it came in handy to call Scott as I was lying there.

By the time Scott got to the store, the decision had been made to call the ambulance.  I really didn't want an ambulance cause I knew the fire department would also come and it would be a big deal. I wasn't dying. But I wasn't sure how I was going to get up.

So I'm on my back holding my arm.  Six or eight coworkers are standing around me.  Scott is there, along with 2 firemen and 2 ambulance men.  And then one of them cuts my shirt at the shoulder and asks me to lift my arm as high as I can.  I tell him I can't move it.  "Try" he says.  Really???  I can't.

Suffice it to say, once I got to the ER, had ex-rays, and was told I actually had a broken shoulder, I didn't feel as bad to have the ambulance come get me.

On the way to the hospital for surgery
Sept 10, 2014

One more pic of me on the way!
Sept.10, 2014

So this won't be the never ending story, I'll fast forward to September 10th. My surgery is scheduled for 2 o'clock.  We check in at noon.  By 5, I'm in recovery.  All goes well! Scott shows me the ex-rays that the doctor gives him. I must say I was very surprised by the amount of hardware placed inside my shoulder.  I will definitely set off some airport alarms!

The doctor draws the incision on my arm

The ex-rays the doc gives Scott after surgery

Another view

After surgery

A few days later when I'm home

Look at me!  Happy as can be!

Through it all, God is good!  I am reminded of  Habakkuk 3:17-19.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

If I were to rewrite this scripture to apply to my life, I might say something like this:

Though I get a bad report on my mammogram and the biopsies confirm cancer in my breast, though I have a mastectomy and removal of 17 lymph nodes with one node testing positive for cancer, though I go through 4 rounds of chemo and lose all my hair, though my husband loses his job and we struggle with finances, though Scott has health issues, though I fall and break my shoulder and will have months of physical therapy, I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD!!! I will be joyful in God my Savior. The merciful, loving, all knowing Lord is my strength; he gives me peace, he carries me to the high ground.

God is good!

If you would like to follow my blog, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam

Yes, there are clouds in the sky!

Actual clouds from my backyard today.

Its a beautiful spring day today!  The sun is shining, a slight breeze here and there, and wonderful white fluffy clouds scattered across the baby blue sky!  I love it!

. . . And its also been almost two months since I've updated my blog! Its not that I haven't had things to say, I've had many things to write about.  Sometimes its just difficult to put them on paper.  I might have avoided last month subconsciously.  March.  The month of March.  It has always been a significant month for me. It is my birthday month, but gone are the days when I excitedly look forward to having another birthday!

. . . But on the other hand, I am very happy to have had another birthday!  For you see last year, on my birthday, I had my mastectomy . . . Wow! . . Last year, at times, moved in slow motion, and at other times it flew by.  Sometimes it seemed as if it wasn't my life at all.  That it wasn't happening to me.  I was a mere observer. But with God's help, I made it through! You can read about my mastectomy here and see pictures here.

March also brings another memory to mind - My Mother's Death. This year, she has been rejoicing with the angels 35 years! Today is her birthday; 89 years since her birth.  She would love the clouds in the sky today! (Yes, my family gets this reference.  My Mom painted clouds on the wall in our house shortly before she died.) You can read some posts about my mom here and here.

...This is just a quick post.  I will try to process all that's going on in my brain and put it to pen soon.

Love to you all!

If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Happy Spring! Pam

A Clean Bill of Health!

Happiness is a clean bill of health from your Oncologist!

I went back to my Oncologist yesterday  for the first time since the end of my chemotherapy treatment. It really wasn't any big deal for me......until I drove the familiar route to the hospital and surrounding medical buildings.  As soon as I entered the parking area by Medical Building 2, my mind filled with memories of last summer when I was going through chemo. An uneasiness seized me for a moment.  The feelings I felt back then came flooding over me - the anxiety, the fear, the uncertainty, the heat! (Last summer in Rocklin, we had many days over 100*.)  As I parked and walked up to the building, I saw people who I thought were cancer patients and those who were there to support them. I thought of what they were currently going through. Then I thought of myself, a recovering cancer patient with the only physical sign of cancer to a casual observer, short hair that is in process of growing out.  And I was thankful I was through chemo! I was thankful for my doctors and nurses. I was thankful for treatment for cancer. . . . And then I was even thankful for chemo! God was good to me.  God was IS my strength!

The LORD is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise him.

Psalms 28:7

Health Update

At my appointment, the doctor went over the results of some blood work I had done last Thursday.  And yes, thank the Lord, everything looked good!  (Sigh of relief!)  Yes, thank you Lord!

Day of Infamy

Aagh!!!  It's the last day of January already!  Can you believe it? One month down in the year 2014!  How are your New Year's resolutions coming along? OR have you long since abandoned those weeks ago?  I suppose if I did MAKE resolutions they would be the same every year. Eat better. Lose weight. Exercise. Those sound like good resolutions to me!

For the last 21 days I've been participating in a fast that our church does at the beginning of the year, so I think I'm off to a good start when it comes to eating better and losing weight.  As far as the exercise goes, I try to walk daily.  That's not super rigorous exercise, but I like to do it.  I actually look forward to my walks. I take a path through our neighborhood along a designated wetland area. I often see people walking or jogging with earbuds listening to some sort of device, but I don't listen to music when I walk. That's a time I usually talk to God and I don't want to be distracted with music just in case He wants to say something back to me. I told my husband that God must be a man because He usually doesn't say a whole lot. . . But I know He's there and He's a good listener.  As a matter of fact if you ever feel like no one wants to listen to you, go for a walk and ask God to go with you.  He'll always go and He'll always listen.  It's perfect!  And sometimes I do get a word or two, but usually its a calm and a peacefulness.

. . . Anyway, it has been a little over a year that I received my cancer diagnosis. Last January, my sister, Jan came all the way from Ecuador (where she lives with her husband serving as missionaries) to spend several days with me when I had my surgical biopsy.  We had fun that week.  We laughed.  We played Scrabble.  She bought me a Scrabble dictionary.  (I didn't know there was such a thing.) She cleaned out my pantry.  Ok, I will be the first to admit, I don't like to clean.  I know, it seems like there are so many A-types out there, but that's not me. . . ( I digress). . . So Jan was pulling things out of my pantry with dates from 2 or 3 years ago.  Instead of being embarrassed about it, I just laughed!  And then we tried to see what was the oldest can or box of something that was in there.  I think 2006 was the oldest. Remember, last year was 2013!  You gotta laugh, right?  Thank God for sisters!

My biopsy was on a Monday, January 15.  Jan flew out on the following Monday, January 22, the same day as my follow-up doctor's appointment.  Scott was working in Philadelphia then, so he flew out that morning also. My doctor's appointment was at 10 am. My two other sisters from Santa Cruz said they wanted to come up and go to the doctor with me when he told me the "good news." (The good news being a clean bill of health. My sister Anita optimistically spoke those words, but I knew it could go either way.)  So I met my sisters, Anita and Bev at my doctor's office that morning.  Oh, am I so glad they were there!  Once again, thank God for sisters! When I heard those words, "You have cancer," I went into shock.  I didn't cry.  If anything, I laughed or smiled or smirked or something. (Why do we do those sorts of things at inappropriate times?)

Yep, January 22, 2013. That's my day that will go down in infamy!

Just about a year ago (2013).  Before "My Day of Infamy!"

Me, currantly, 01/31/14.
Selfie!

01/24/14
I've got curl!

01/24/14

01/19/14

01/12/14

Hair Update
Yes, I have unveiled my hair!  I decided it was time to take off the hat and scarf and let my hair blow in the wind! Early in January, I even had a little cut off the back of my neck and had to get a little color to cover up the grey. And it is growing in curly!  I have never had curly hair.  I have never had short hair.  But I've got em both now!

Before my haircut and color on Jan 8, 2014.

After my haircut and color, Jan 11, 2014.

(No, these are not mug shots!)

Pam

Christmas 2013

Merry Christmas One and All!

Yes, its nearly over.  I truly hope you all had a really good day.  Our Christmas was  really low key, just the 5 of us.  You know your kids are getting older when they get up after you on Christmas morning!

Yes, it was nice and calm.  This year, I wasn't thinking about upcoming doctor's visits or bad health reports. Low key was just the way I wanted it!

Earlier this year, a few days before my surgery in March, my family so willingly, um, agreed to have pictures taken.  So in place of Christmasy shots, here are Hutton Family Photos 2013.

Life is What Happens . . .

Ok...put up the lights, decorate the tree, go shopping, wrap the presents...Those were the plans I had last year around this time. . .
I had no idea what lay ahead for me!

Amid the holiday hustle and bustle I knew I had to squeeze in my mammogram. (smile)  It was December 4th of last year when I went in for what I thought would be a routine screening. Little did I realize how much my life would change that day!

And now its December again!  A year later!  I'm so glad I'm at this end of the year and not the beginning!

I think it would be safe to say that 2013 was my worst year ever!  The only other year that might come close was the year my mom got sick and died.  That was 1979.  That wasn't a good year either!

In both years my life changed dramatically. This year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and lost my breast. In 1979, my mom was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer that had spread to her liver. . . and she lost her life!   I miss my mom, she's been gone for almost 35 years! . . . I can always get breast reconstruction!

Back in 79, I was mad at God for allowing mom to get cancer and for taking her from me.  Why would he allow such an awful thing to happen to such a Godly woman?

I see things differently these days.  I'm not mad at God for allowing cancer in my life.  Lots of people get cancer or other things equally bad -- good people and not so good people.  The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust.  I just happened to be caught in the rain!

I didn't choose cancer.  I don't think anyone would.  Just like this plaque I found earlier this year says, I was making other plans...

It's very close to what the Bible says:

We can make our plans,

but the LORD determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9

I'm still gonna make plans, but if God's plans are different than mine, I'll go with His.  Ok, . . so there's the lights, the tree, the shopping . . . .

*******

Hair/Health Update

My hair is growing, but still short.  I have never had short hair so I don't feel real comfortable going without a scarf and hat.  I know. . . I will.  I'm just not there yet. (Well, not in real life, only here in this picture!)

It's been 3 months since I started my hormone therapy medicine.  It makes me feel a little achy in my joints and muscles sometimes, but its manageable. When the weather is colder, it seems to be worse: otherwise, I'm good!

If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam

Thanksgiving Top Ten List

Here are the top ten things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.

I am thankful. . .

1.   ...that I had my yearly mammogram in December of last year even through I almost forgot to schedule it.

2.   ...that the Radiologists at the imaging center were able to detect subtle abnormalities in the mammogram.

3.   ...that the surgeon was successful in removing the cancerous tumors.

4.   ...that I was able to go through 4 rounds of chemo over the summer with very little difficulty.

5.   ...that my cancer is now in remission.

6.   ...that friends were there for me.

7.   ...that family was by my side.

8.   ...that God was with me every step of the way.

9.   ...that my faith has grown so much deeper than before.

10. ...that God will meet all my needs.

“Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thes. 5:18 (NIV)

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!  What are you thankful for?

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If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam

October Baby

So, my youngest son, Joshua, turned 17 today!  Occasionally, I call him, "pumpkin" just because he is an October baby.

Happy Birthday, Josh!

He's very active in the Whitney High School Marching Band and has been for all 4 years of high school.

Josh is the first one on the right playing the tenor drums.

Last night was some kind of school rally and this is what he looked like as he played the drums.

Two weeks ago at the football game, the whole band wore pink in support of Breast Cancer Awareness.

The Saturday I was in Dallas last month, Sept 14th, Josh participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life  Thanks to those who supported his efforts!

Scott and I are proud of Josh.  He has over a 4.0 GPA.  I think he wants to go to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo for college.  Love ya Josh!

The American Cancer Society's website is chock full of information regarding breast cancer and all cancers. Here is a link to info on early breast cancer detection. http://www.cancer.org/acs/groups/cid/documents/webcontent/003165-pdf.pdf

I read somewhere that tomorrow is Mammogram Day (10/18).  Any day can be Mammogram Day.  Just don't forget to get yours!

I'm still feeling good and doing great!  This week I went to a Zumba class that started at church. I'm not overly excited about exercise but I try! Thanks for those who continue to pray for me.  God is good!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Did you know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month?  I certainly am aware now!  Please please have your yearly mammogram if you are a woman over the age of 40.  Younger if you are at high risk.  It could save your life! . . Or at least detect an early tumor. (I know it did for me!)

Yes the cartoon is funny!  It is good to laugh!

I ran across the following video series explaining much of the process a woman goes through when she first discovers there is something abnormal going on in her breast.  I went through many of these same things or became familiar with the terms and information it talks about.  I recommend viewing this video series, especially if you are at high risk, or know someone going through breast cancer.  It explains a bit about breast cancer, the diagnosis, types and stages and treatment options. The whole series takes over an hour to view, but it is broken up into 1 to 3 minute segments, so you can watch bits of it at a time.  It is very informative.  (I hope my sisters take a look.) To go to the original site, click on this link: http://beyondtheshock.com/learn/1/1#1/1

 

Beyond The Shock is a collaborative breast cancer guide created by the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. (NBCF) with the support of the finest medical experts, doctors, and researchers in the world. NBCF utilized ground-breaking technology and the resources of the global medical community to create an accessible platform for understanding a diagnosis of breast cancer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've been taking my hormone therapy medicine, Arimidex,  for 4 weeks now and I feel Ok.  I don't think I'm having any extreme side affects.  

Remember to schedule your mammogram!
Pam

A Family Affair

I was very privileged to attend a family reunion in Texas for my Dad's side of the family last weekend - The Soper Family Reunion!  I think the reunions started back in 1986, a year or so after I was married and before I had kids.  (I could have my dates wrong.  Life gets blurry after a while.)  The first one was at a community center in Castro Valley, CA.  We've had them every two years except one time I was told, it was stretched to 3 years.

Every other year for a reunion seems plenty often, except that not everybody can go every 2 years. The venue rotates between California, Dallas, and Spokane Washington.  I've only been to the ones held in California before this one.  I missed "California 92" when we were in Africa.  Including this year I think I've gone to 5.

Over a period of 27 years, there have been many changes. Loved ones have departed, children have grown up, babies have been born.

Something I discovered this year in Dallas is now Rosemary goes by Rose or Rosie; Marcus doesn't mind being called Marc; Suzie is now Suzanne (or it is Susan?); and Mary Grace will answer to Mary. Wow! It's hard to keep up!

Cousin Rosemary

Gordon, cousin Charlene and cousin Marc

Suzanne

Cousin Mary Grace

I met relatives I had never met.

My cousin, Mary Grace's daughter, Marla's family

Mary Grace's son, David's, daughters, Carly and Jenneh
(My sister, Jan in between.)

I met the non relatives who were there.

Some guys that live at Sheldon and Suzies

I enjoyed talking to my cousins...

My cousin Evan and his wife Dorathy

...and uncle.

Me and Uncle Len

My grandparents, Kirk and Virginia Soper  had 5 children - Ray, Reva, Edith, Rosemay, Kirk Jr. and Leonard.  My dad, Kirk and his brother, Len are the 2 remaining children .

If I counted correctly, there are 14 cousins, ages 43 to 78, and 10 of us were there!  I enjoyed catching up with them. I'm not sure about all the cousin's children...and their children.  It gets too complicated!

At some point during the reunion, the patriarchs of the family reminisced about the "old days." They told us things about the past and laughed...or maybe even cried a little when talking about those that have gone before us. We listen to stories we've heard many times before . . . or maybe for the first time.

 Kirk and Len

Of course no reunion is complete without food.  We had lots!  Friday night, we ate barbecued ribs and tri-tip with all the side dishes at Suzanne and Sheldon's.  Though they are recent California transplants, they did well to live up to the Texas reputation of doing things bigger.  Saturday, Mary Grace prepared beef brisket, chicken and ham and all the fixins. Thanks so much to our host and hostesses!  It was such a pleasure to be with you!

Suzie and Sheldon

Me and my cousin Mary Grace

*************

I am feeling well, except I do get tired.  I heard this may be a side effect of the Arimidex I am taking or a side effect of just living!

If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam