Treatment Options

Its been just over 6 weeks since my mastectomy. I'm feeling fairly well for the most part, although I've had a 3-day headache this week. I think it is stress. Three doctor's appointments and both cars at the mechanic's in a week will do that to you! There's no doubt in my mind that the Bible is true because it says, in this world we will have trouble, and there is plenty of trouble to be found!

Tuesday morning, I had my weekly visit with Dr. Gulbrandson to drain the fluid from my incision. I don't know when these visits will end. Next week, I'll be back!

Tuesday afternoon, I met with the Oncologist, Dr. Bobolis. Her reputation precedes her as a very compassionate and sought after doctor in this area. I'm glad to be able to have her as my doctor although getting her office to actually make my appointment was somewhat of a challenge. Anyway, I thought the appointment would be as simple as me showing up and her telling me what my treatment would be. I should know by now that nothing is really simple.

The good news is that my particular kind of cancer is not very aggressive and fast growing. The bad news is that I have another decision to make about treatment. I have felt good since my surgery, relieved really, and haven't thought about the next phase too much, but now I have to focus again and figure out what to do.

The cancer I have will best be treated with hormone therapy which will be a pill that I will take for the next 5 years that will suppress my estrogen and progesterone levels. With this therapy, the chances of being cancer free is 85%. In addition to this, if I undergo chemo therapy, that number will increase to 90%. Both those numbers are pretty good, unless of course, I am in the 10-15% where it comes back. I think I was a little disappointed when I heard this because I had thought that chemo would kill all the cancer cells, but nothing is 100%.

So here is my dilemma, do I go for the gold and go through chemo for only a 5% advantage? As much as I don't want to lose my hair or become nauseated, I'm not talking about those things. Chemo is a poison.    Are there other long term effects that might outweigh the 5% advantage? These are the questions I face as I make my decision. 

As of now, I'm thinking I probably will have both kinds of therapy unless I discover other information that changes my mind. I would like to think that I have done everything possible to rid my body of cancer and keep it from coming back. I know I should make other changes, too, involving my diet, although my doctor said there was no scientific proof that dietary changes affect the return of cancer or not. It just seems reasonable to me that eating healthier wouldn't hurt.

Wednesday, I had a follow up appointment with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Dutton. She just basically said that I didn't need radiation now. If cancer ever came back in my breast area then it could be treated with radiation. It's good to know all your options!

So I'm on to the next phrase... nausea and hair loss...bring it on!

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Just a note to remind you that I'm working to catch up on some of my early posts.  These are about things that happened before I started my blog.  The 3 most recent ones are:

Biopsy Results are Inconclusive!  (Posted April, 22, 2013)
Stereotactic Biopsy  (Posted March 14, 2013)
Oh Christmas Tree!  (Posted March 14, 2013)

These are all listed with links on the right side column under My Journey...the beginning.

A Bad Week!

Talk about a bad week! - Lets see, bombings at the Boston Marathon, an explosion at a fertilizer plant in Texas, letters with ricin (poison) sent to the President and a senator, and then a shootout in Boston last night and continuing manhunt today.

It makes one want to say, "Even so Lord, come quickly!"

Psalms 33:20

We wait in hope for the Lord. He helps us.

He is like a shield that keeps us safe.

On a more personal note - I'm doing well.  Thank you very much!  I finally got scheduled for an appointment with the oncologist for next week.

This last Tuesday, I had my fluid drained and it is considerably less now, (75ml) from what it had been, (about 140ml).  I'm still scheduled to go back to my doc next Tuesday, but it seems to me that these visits may end soon.

Tuesday night, I went to a breast cancer support group.  My first visit to this group.  I found out the best place to buy a prosthesis.  I think I can be fitted for one soon.

Backing up a few days - Last Friday, Zach and I went to Santa Cruz and stayed overnight at my sister's house.

Love the yellow door!

Saturday morning, we headed back to San Jose State's Campus Days, as Zach wants to go there in the fall.

A mother's work is never done, no matter what the age of your kids!

Remembering Mom - (Part 2)

As sad as those days were leading up to my mother's death and afterward, and as bad as I felt, what I want to remember are the good memories, the happy times I spent with my mom.

I remember coming home from school and more often than not finding mom sitting at her sewing machine.  Whether out of necessity or enjoyment, she loved to sew, and was good at it. There were 5 girls in my family and mom made our dresses.  Back in the day, dresses were worn a lot more. We wore dresses to school and always to church.  Remember, my dad was a minister; on a modest income, mom had to stretch every dollar we had.  Sewing our dresses was one way to do that.  As each garment was made with love, the finished product gave mom a sense of accomplishment. She took pride in her well made garments, with straight seams and flawlessly placed zippers, collars and sleeves.  I'm sure she made hundreds of items in her lifetime.  

Mom at the ol' Singer.  That is a memory that I'll always love and cherish.

Not only was mom an excellent seamstress, she was an accomplished pianist.  I can see mom playing the piano at church. Being a pastor's wife, this talent came in quite handy.  This was before the days of the guitars, drum set and keyboard on stage. This was when the piano was on one side of the platform and the organ was on the other. There, my mom sat, usually at the piano, ready to play.  As the song leader would call out the page number in the hymnal or announce the next chorus, mom was expected to start playing, and I think many times without a clue as to what song was to be sung.  For some reason and I really don't know why, mom seemed to always have a crumpled up tissue on the side of the piano keyboard.  Maybe she had sinus problems more than I realized. But that was my mom.  As a young girl, I would sit on the second row and wait for mom to come sit by me when song service was over.

Mom at the piano.  A memory I'll never forget.

My mom was a great cook.  Oh those Sunday dinners!  (Some might call it lunch.)  The typical meal after Sunday morning church was pot roast, carrots and potatoes.  Mom would get up early enough Sunday morning to prepare the meal and put it in the oven.  When we got home from church, mom would finish up making the gravy and we'd have a wonderful meal.  There was a particular period of time when we would always have guests for dinner.  We lived near Hamilton Air Force Base in Novato, Ca, and at least 4 single service men would come for dinner every Sunday.  (My older teenage sisters seemed to enjoy that.)  To me, they were like the brothers that I didn't have.

I especially loved the holiday meals. The turkey and trimmings. Homemade pies.  Simple, yet delicious and appealing. The table set with our best china.  (Passed down from Grandma to Mom and now to me.)   I marvel at how mom always seemed to have the food ready at the same time, something I still struggle to do.

One year, mom asked me what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday, I answered, "Cheesecake."  From that time on, Mom very often made that for my birthday.  And it was g-o-o-d! Homemade cheesecake.  Hmm!

Mom as a great cook.  Something I'll always remember.

Mom could teach Sunday school and lead the church choir.  Mom could quilt and knit.  Mom even made a Tiffany style hanging lamp, soldering the glass pieces together with lead.  (Who'd a thought?)  It hangs in my sister's family room today.  Mom had humor and a quick wit.  She was strong.  She was vulnerable.  She was my Mom!

As a child I would say, "Mom, I love you more than you love me cause there's more of you to love."  She would respond with, "No, I love you more than you love me, cause there's more of me to do the lovin'."

That's the way I'll remember my mom.  Soft yet strong, loving and giving.  I love you, Mom!

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Health Update - I feel better everyday.  I go to the doctor weekly (it's been Tuesdays), to have my incision area drained.  I'm still waiting for an appointment with the oncologist.  When my friends ask me about treatment, I just have to say I don't know.  I stopped by the oncologist office twice and they keep telling me they're going to get back with me.   I guess they are not in a hurry.  Really, I won't start any treatment until I am fully healed, 6-8 weeks from surgery. It would be nice to know the plan, but I guess only God knows The Plan!

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.
 "They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

I have felt such peace since my surgery and I've thought maybe I shouldn't feel so peaceful, but then I remembered Philippians 4:7, so it shouldn't come as a surprise.

. . . and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

Thanks for you continued prayers.  God is good!

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Remembering Mom - (Part 1)

Today my mother would have been 88.  Up until my own affliction, my thoughts have always turned to my mom whenever I heard the word cancer.  That hideous cancer.  Her death was unexpected and caught us all by surprise.
 
It started in 1976 with her diagnosis of breast cancer and subsequent mastectomy.  A year and a half later, a second diagnoses of the disease was found in her remaining breast and it was also removed.  After each occurrence and surgery, we were assured by the doctors that the cancer was gone and she would be O.K.  She seemed O.K., living life as she always had.  We hadn't anticipated the final blow --the metastasis of the cancer to her liver.

In January of 1979, my mom and dad went on a once in a lifetime trip to Hawaii.  When they returned, my mom saw the doctor and had some lab work done because she wasn't feeling well.  I was a young adult and wasn't living with my parents at that time, but I was home on that Valentine's Day in February when the doctor called with the lab results.  I'll never forget.  He told my mom that her liver was filled with tumors and gave her 2-3 months to live.  It was unbelievable.  It seemed as if from that moment on, she went downhill... and fast. She didn't even live 2 months. Six weeks later, she was gone.

As with my own health struggle, that time in my life seemed surreal at times.  It was hard to grasp that my own mother, who I loved and respected was going through this experience; as her daughter, so was I.  Up until my mother's illness,  I felt that we hadn't really experienced much tragedy in our family.  I had the security of an intact family. We loved each other. I was insulated from much heartache.  That all changed the day my mother died.  My heart felt the bitter pain of loss & the suffering of sadness.  I was left with questions one often faces when loved ones die before their time and for me, no adequate answers.

The month of my mom's death I was to be in my friend's wedding. As mom continued to get sicker and become weaker, she would make her way to her sewing machine and sew on the bridesmaid's dress until she didn't have the strength.  It was her goal to finish that dress. The very week I was to go to Oregon for the wedding, my mom took a turn for the worse and my family decided it was best for her to go to the hospital.  I really didn't want her to go.  I was taking care of her (or so I thought).  I was in quite a dilemma.  I was torn.  My mom was getting sicker and yet I was to be in a wedding 600 miles away. What was I to do?  ..... I decided to go.  After all, my mom had worked so hard to get the dress done.  (My sister, Jan said she worked on it too.)  I felt she would want me to go.  There was nothing I could do at home anyway.  I cut the trip to a bare minimum and with my friend, Joanie, headed north. Before I left that Thursday morning, I stopped by the hospital to say goodbye to my mom.  The thought entered my mind that I might not see her again. By that point, she was on strong meds and semi-comatose.   I don't know if she knew I came by or not because that was the last time I saw her alive.  She died the following evening.  I called home that night after the rehearsal dinner and my dad said she was gone. Somehow, someway, I made it through the next days.  I still had a wedding to be in.  How I made it, I don't know.

As sad as those days were and as bad as I felt what I want to remember are the good memories, the happy times.......(to be continued later this week)

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Life is Good!

Church lobby on Easter.  It looked very Eastery!
(Picture taken by Shelley Howard)

I did go to church on Easter Sunday!  I'm feeling better every day. Today, it has been three weeks since my surgery.  I'm still sore, but I'm less sore than I was. I'm back to driving the carpool this week. Last Tuesday my friend, Lori, took me to my doctor's appointment, but yesterday I drove myself!  The doc says I only need to go weekly now to get the fluid drained, not again this week.  I'm getting back to normal! (Whatever that is!)  

Anita, Pam, Bev

On Monday, my sisters, Anita and Bev drove up from Santa Cruz to take me out for a belated birthday lunch.  We even went to the mall! See, life is good! (...Even when it's not so good!)