Friday, January 31, 2014

Day of Infamy

Aagh!!!  It's the last day of January already!  Can you believe it? One month down in the year 2014!  How are your New Year's resolutions coming along? OR have you long since abandoned those weeks ago?  I suppose if I did MAKE resolutions they would be the same every year. Eat better. Lose weight. Exercise. Those sound like good resolutions to me!

For the last 21 days I've been participating in a fast that our church does at the beginning of the year, so I think I'm off to a good start when it comes to eating better and losing weight.  As far as the exercise goes, I try to walk daily.  That's not super rigorous exercise, but I like to do it.  I actually look forward to my walks. I take a path through our neighborhood along a designated wetland area. I often see people walking or jogging with earbuds listening to some sort of device, but I don't listen to music when I walk. That's a time I usually talk to God and I don't want to be distracted with music just in case He wants to say something back to me. I told my husband that God must be a man because He usually doesn't say a whole lot. . . But I know He's there and He's a good listener.  As a matter of fact if you ever feel like no one wants to listen to you, go for a walk and ask God to go with you.  He'll always go and He'll always listen.  It's perfect!  And sometimes I do get a word or two, but usually its a calm and a peacefulness.

. . . Anyway, it has been a little over a year that I received my cancer diagnosis. Last January, my sister, Jan came all the way from Ecuador (where she lives with her husband serving as missionaries) to spend several days with me when I had my surgical biopsy.  We had fun that week.  We laughed.  We played Scrabble.  She bought me a Scrabble dictionary.  (I didn't know there was such a thing.) She cleaned out my pantry.  Ok, I will be the first to admit, I don't like to clean.  I know, it seems like there are so many A-types out there, but that's not me. . . ( I digress). . . So Jan was pulling things out of my pantry with dates from 2 or 3 years ago.  Instead of being embarrassed about it, I just laughed!  And then we tried to see what was the oldest can or box of something that was in there.  I think 2006 was the oldest. Remember, last year was 2013!  You gotta laugh, right?  Thank God for sisters!

My biopsy was on a Monday, January 15.  Jan flew out on the following Monday, January 22, the same day as my follow-up doctor's appointment.  Scott was working in Philadelphia then, so he flew out that morning also. My doctor's appointment was at 10 am. My two other sisters from Santa Cruz said they wanted to come up and go to the doctor with me when he told me the "good news." (The good news being a clean bill of health. My sister Anita optimistically spoke those words, but I knew it could go either way.)  So I met my sisters, Anita and Bev at my doctor's office that morning.  Oh, am I so glad they were there!  Once again, thank God for sisters! When I heard those words, "You have cancer," I went into shock.  I didn't cry.  If anything, I laughed or smiled or smirked or something. (Why do we do those sorts of things at inappropriate times?)

Yep, January 22, 2013. That's my day that will go down in infamy!


Just about a year ago (2013).  Before "My Day of Infamy!"

Me, currantly, 01/31/14.
Selfie!

01/24/14
I've got curl!

01/24/14

01/19/14

01/12/14

Hair Update
Yes, I have unveiled my hair!  I decided it was time to take off the hat and scarf and let my hair blow in the wind! Early in January, I even had a little cut off the back of my neck and had to get a little color to cover up the grey. And it is growing in curly!  I have never had curly hair.  I have never had short hair.  But I've got em both now!

Before my haircut and color on Jan 8, 2014.
After my haircut and color, Jan 11, 2014.

(No, these are not mug shots!)

Pam

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas 2013



Merry Christmas One and All!

Yes, its nearly over.  I truly hope you all had a really good day.  Our Christmas was  really low key, just the 5 of us.  You know your kids are getting older when they get up after you on Christmas morning!

Yes, it was nice and calm.  This year, I wasn't thinking about upcoming doctor's visits or bad health reports. Low key was just the way I wanted it!

Earlier this year, a few days before my surgery in March, my family so willingly, um, agreed to have pictures taken.  So in place of Christmasy shots, here are Hutton Family Photos 2013.











Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Life is What Happens . . .

Ok...put up the lights, decorate the tree, go shopping, wrap the presents...Those were the plans I had last year around this time. . .
I had no idea what lay ahead for me!

Amid the holiday hustle and bustle I knew I had to squeeze in my mammogram. (smile)  It was December 4th of last year when I went in for what I thought would be a routine screening. Little did I realize how much my life would change that day!

And now its December again!  A year later!  I'm so glad I'm at this end of the year and not the beginning!

I think it would be safe to say that 2013 was my worst year ever!  The only other year that might come close was the year my mom got sick and died.  That was 1979.  That wasn't a good year either!

In both years my life changed dramatically. This year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and lost my breast. In 1979, my mom was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer that had spread to her liver. . . and she lost her life!   I miss my mom, she's been gone for almost 35 years! . . . I can always get breast reconstruction!

Back in 79, I was mad at God for allowing mom to get cancer and for taking her from me.  Why would he allow such an awful thing to happen to such a Godly woman?

I see things differently these days.  I'm not mad at God for allowing cancer in my life.  Lots of people get cancer or other things equally bad -- good people and not so good people.  The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust.  I just happened to be caught in the rain!

I didn't choose cancer.  I don't think anyone would.  Just like this plaque I found earlier this year says, I was making other plans...


It's very close to what the Bible says:

We can make our plans,
but the LORD determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9

I'm still gonna make plans, but if God's plans are different than mine, I'll go with His.  Ok, . . so there's the lights, the tree, the shopping . . . .


*******
Hair/Health Update
My hair is growing, but still short.  I have never had short hair so I don't feel real comfortable going without a scarf and hat.  I know. . . I will.  I'm just not there yet. (Well, not in real life, only here in this picture!)

It's been 3 months since I started my hormone therapy medicine.  It makes me feel a little achy in my joints and muscles sometimes, but its manageable. When the weather is colder, it seems to be worse: otherwise, I'm good!

If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to My Breast Cancer Journey by Email. You will be notified by e-mail when I make a new post. Thanks, Pam